Talk to your physician

What happens if you and your doctor differ about a treatment option? Let me point out that there's a right way of approaching your doctor and a wrong way. It's simply a matter of mutual respect; you wouldn't want your doctor to assume the worst about you, so, on a reciprocal basis, don't assume the worst about him! Often, if you can put across your feelings and apprehensions in the right way, you can get your doctor to help you. Explain your needs to the physician in a polite way, without any belligerence or hostility. Remember that you are both on the same side - yours!

It is your Right to know your answers!

Try to find a friend or relative to accompany you for the consultation, as his or her presence can be very useful. He or she can help reduce your anxiety, give you courage to ask the relevant questions, and also help you to interpret the doctor's statements. As mentioned earlier, do not hesitate to ask questions (and more questions); never mind how many other patients are waiting outside the doctor's clinic, or how stupid the questions may seem to you. When you are with the doctor, his only focus of interest should be you, and it's his job to provide answers. Remember, the only stupid question is the one you didn't ask. Be courteous but assertive while asking questions and obtaining information, but don't turn aggressive or antagonistic. Listen carefully to what your doctor says, and in case of doubt and ambiguity, do not leave till these have been dispelled. Remember, the word doctor is derived from the Latin root docere, which means 'to teach'. Therefore, look for a doctor who is willing to share his knowledge with you!

It is your Right to know your answers!

Try to find a friend or relative to accompany you for the consultation, as his or her presence can be very useful. He or she can help reduce your anxiety, give you courage to ask the relevant questions, and also help you to interpret the doctor's statements. As mentioned earlier, do not hesitate to ask questions (and more questions); never mind how many other patients are waiting outside the doctor's clinic, or how stupid the questions may seem to you. When you are with the doctor, his only focus of interest should be you, and it's his job to provide answers. Remember, the only stupid question is the one you didn't ask. Be courteous but assertive while asking questions and obtaining information, but don't turn aggressive or antagonistic. Listen carefully to what your doctor says, and in case of doubt and ambiguity, do not leave till these have been dispelled. Remember, the word doctor is derived from the Latin root docere, which means 'to teach'. Therefore, look for a doctor who is willing to share his knowledge with you!

Prepare your Questionnaire

Another important point to be borne in mind is to carry written checklists with you during every visit. Normally, you can think up a wide range of questions to ask the doctor, but as a result of the stress generated by the consultation you invariably forget most of them. Such a situation is very frustrating, and you kick yourself when you get home. To prevent this from happening, write down all the questions you need to ask in order of priority. It is also helpful to write down the doctor's answers. Studies have shown that patients forget about 50 per cent of what the doctor tells them during a visit! Writing down the doctor's answers will prevent such a 'disaster'! Moreover, your doctor also stands to benefit because you need not pester him with your queries all over again!

Prepare your Questionnaire

Another important point to be borne in mind is to carry written checklists with you during every visit. Normally, you can think up a wide range of questions to ask the doctor, but as a result of the stress generated by the consultation you invariably forget most of them. Such a situation is very frustrating, and you kick yourself when you get home. To prevent this from happening, write down all the questions you need to ask in order of priority. It is also helpful to write down the doctor's answers. Studies have shown that patients forget about 50 per cent of what the doctor tells them during a visit! Writing down the doctor's answers will prevent such a 'disaster'! Moreover, your doctor also stands to benefit because you need not pester him with your queries all over again!

Next appointment

Try to schedule your next visit at the end of the consultation. If the succeeding question-answer session is something which can be managed on the telephone, then try to do so. You could save both time and money by avoiding an unnecessary follow-up visit to the doctor's clinic.

Useful terms to talk to your doctor

The following terms can be very helpful when you talk to your doctor:

* Please tell me more about that.
* What does that mean in simple English?
* Could you explain that to me again?
* Could you write that down for me?
* Where can I find more information about this subject?
* You seem rushed.
* When can I call you to talk about this in more detail?

Ask more

Since it is your 'head on the block,' so to say, you are entitled to raise all relevant questions and seek satisfactory answers to them. If you cannot understand your doctor's explanations, ask him to repeat everything in simpler language. Ask him to show you illustrations; also, ask for written material that explains the medical issues in greater detail, so that you can study this later at leisure.

Patience with your Doctor

Do keep in mind that doctors are also human, and they are badgered by their own share of problems. On certain days they may seem rude or curt; on such days, give them a little leeway and a lot of understanding!

The more you ask, the more you will be told

Do not hesitate to share your thoughts with your doctor. If you think what he is recommending does not make sense, say so, and specify your reasons. If you're worried, do express your anxieties and find out how you can get more information and support to dispel them. If you just sit on your chair and listen meekly, your doctor will either assume that you are uninterested in a full explanation of your illness and its treatment - or that you are too stupid to understand! Remember - the more you ask, the more you will be told!

Speak out to your Doctor

Your doctor is definitely not a mind-reader and you must tell him everything you know, think, and feel about your problem if you want an accurate diagnosis and the best treatment plan. There is no need to be shy or embarrassed about sensitive subjects such as sexual problems or sexually transmitted diseases as far as your doctor is concerned. Rest assured that doctors have 'seen it all' and 'heard it all' - they're not there to pass moral or ethical judgment on your conduct.

Ask your doctor to explain your diagnosis and how it might affect you and your family.

Useful questions include:

* What is the diagnosis? Find out the complete medical name - and what it means in plain English!
* What is my prognosis (outlook for the future)?
* What changes, if any, will I need to make in my daily life?
* Is there a chance that someone else in my family might get the same condition?
* Will I need special help at home for my condition? If so, what type of help?

Patience with your Doctor

Ultimately, you obviously want to know what the diagnosis is, so do not shirk from asking your doctor what he thinks is wrong with you. Surprisingly, many doctors are reluctant to give a name to a patient's problems, so that if you do not ask specifically, you may not get an answer. If you do not agree with the doctor's diagnosis, tell him so, because if you do not agree with it, you are unlikely to follow his advice and treatment. Often, your doctor may reply he does not know the diagnosis as yet. This response does not indicate that he is an incompetent physician; it may simply mean you have a difficult problem, for which more tests are needed. It could also mean that your doctor would like to 'wait and watch' to see how the problem evolves, or that he may need to refer you for a second opinion. Remember that doctors do not always have all the answers. You should be aware that reaching a diagnosis can be hard and sometimes it can take a long time to find out exactly what is wrong.

Your Medical History

Remember to inform your doctor about all the symptoms you have noted. List them in a chronological order, starting from the time when you first noted that something was amiss. It's extremely useful to record the factors that make your symptoms better and those that make them worse. This information provides very useful medical clues. Also, let your doctor know what remedies you have tried earlier, and whether they have helped or not. Do not play games with your doctor. If you have consulted another earlier or have undergone relevant tests, please share this information with your present doctor. It's helpful to prepare a short one-page summary of your medical history; not only does this summary help the doctor, but it also ensures you do not forget to convey to him information which could be vitally important in your treatment. Computer programs are available today, which can help you record and organize your medical history, as well as that of your family members. Make a list of all the medications you are taking, both prescription and non-prescription. As an alternative, you can collect all your medicines in a brown paper bag and show them to your doctor. Moreover, list all the specialists you are consulting for specific disorders/conditions.

Building a good rapport

Remember that the doctor's staff plays a key role in your medical care, and you need to learn how the clinic functions. It's very helpful to build up a rapport with a special staff-member (who can be a receptionist, a nurse or an assistant), and this can prove to be very useful when you need to talk to the doctor on a priority basis. The simple rule is that if you treat the staff well, you will be treated well too! A small 'thank-you' gift for the staff can help ensure that you get personalized attention. It's useful to learn which days are the busiest and what times are the best to consult the doctor. You should also find out what steps to take if there is an emergency, or when the clinic is closed.

Respect and Appreciate your doctor

In order to foster and nurture the relationship with your doctor treat it with great care and respect. Don't forget to say 'thank you' to your doctor when you get better. He gets fed up of attending to droves of patients with complaints all day long and would be delighted to hear a patient appreciate his efforts! Unfortunately, this common courtesy is something we often forget; patients tend to remember the doctor only when afflicted by an ailment. This simple expression of gratitude by you will help the doctor to remember you as a person, rather than as just another case. He is likely to then treat you as a special patient and getting VIP attention from him helps improve your medical care a good deal! As in a marriage, the doctor-patient relationship depends on good communication and trust built up over time and it is definitely worth spending time and taking trouble to maintain a beneficial relationship.

How to Make the Most of Your Doctor

No one likes to fall ill, and as a logical extension, most of us don't like going to the doctor. A visit to the doctor also brings back childhood fears of painful injections and unpleasant blood tests. Thus, it is no surprise that a medical clinic is second to unpopularity only to a dentist's chair! Consequently, most of us do not make the best use of our doctors; we tend to use them as crutches only when we fall ill. However, one should never forget that the doctor-patient relationship is unique; since it is the ultimate one-to-one relationship, in which you confide fully in your doctor and entrust him with your life, you must learn to work as a partner with your doctor!